Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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