I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
