if you like me you must not know who I am
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
COCAINE IS GR8
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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