Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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