So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
