you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
