Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
