I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
