Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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