awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We are two peas in an std pod
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
how does that bad decision feel?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
