We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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