I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
