it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
