My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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