I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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