capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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