people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
