I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
