U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
