There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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