I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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