Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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