Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
