my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
