JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
