I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
