I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
