she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
