shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
