don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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