I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
