perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
