Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
