pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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