do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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