No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
