I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
