He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
