ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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