Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
