I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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