I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
