I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
