i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
