he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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