6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
