I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
