Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
