Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
