i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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