WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
