I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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