I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
