all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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