He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
