Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Randomize