Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
