Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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