my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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