Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize